Consider the Wildflowers
Consider the Wildflowers
106. Stop Pricing your Services like THIS. (with “Ask the Planner” host Desirée Adams)
If you, like all good 90s kids, dreamed of becoming a wedding planner after J.Lo and Matthew McConaughey lit up the big screen in the iconic 2001 rom-com The Wedding Planner, then today’s guest is going to take you straight down memory lane (and maybe even inspire some new dreams!).
Desiree Adams is a luxury wedding planner, educator, and host of the Ask the Planner podcast, and she’s here to give us the real scoop on what it’s like behind the scenes of one of the most glamorous (and chaotic) industries out there.
In this episode, we dive into everything from finding your “why” and building strong relationships with clients and vendors, to thinking about the legacy you want your business to leave behind. Plus, Desiree dishes on common pricing mistakes she and so many new entrepreneurs make (and how to avoid them).
It’s an inspiring, fun, and insightful chat that will leave you ready to tackle your own big dreams— let’s dive in!
WILDFLOWER SHOWNOTES
📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Gary Vaynerchuk
To me, balance and harmony shift depending on what my needs are at the moment and what the business's needs are, and then what the family's needs are. And this can change for me on a daily basis. Some days, my business needs me more. Some days my body is telling me you need to slow down. You've been staying up too long. Or some days, you know, my family, my kids, need me, and I'm gonna have to take this afternoon off. I think that's the beauty of being an entrepreneur, is I get to choose where my focus is needed the most. Nothing is forever, both for my business or for my family. And things are going to change, like the kids are gonna get bigger and bigger, and they're gonna need me less, and they're it's gonna be different. So I also feel like, while it's it can be a struggle, and we're all so busy, and everything is so hard, whatever it's I'm lucky that I get to that I have the ability to be there for my kids.
Shanna Skidmore:You're listening to consider the wildflowers the podcast episode 106 if you like, all good 90s kids dreamed of becoming a wedding planner after J Lo and Matthew McConaughey lit up the big screen in the iconic 2001 rom com, the wedding planner, then today's guest is going to take you straight down memory lane and maybe even inspire some new dreams. Desiree Adams is a luxury wedding planner, educator and host of the Ask the planner podcast. She's here to give us the real scoop on what it's like behind the scenes of one of the most glamorous and chaotic industries out there. In this episode, we dive into everything from finding your why and building strong relationship with clients and vendors to thinking about the legacy you want your business to leave behind, plus Desiree dishes on common pricing mistakes she and so many other new entrepreneurs make and how to avoid them. It's an inspiring, fun and insightful chat that will leave you ready to tackle your own big dreams. Let's dive in. Hey, it's Shanna, and this is consider the wildflowers. The podcast. For the past 15 plus years, I've had the honor to hear 1000s of stories from entrepreneurs around the world. As a former fortune 100 financial advisor turned business consultant, I have a unique opportunity to see the reel. Behind the highlight reel, I'm talking profit and loss statements, unpaid taxes, moments of burnout and those of utter victory, or, as my husband says, the content everyone is wondering, but not many are talking about. And now I'm bringing these private conversations to you hear the untold stories of how industry leaders, founders and up and coming entrepreneurs got their start, the experiences that shaped them and the journey to building the brands they have today, stories that will inspire and reignite, encourage to redefine success and build a life and business on your own terms. Welcome, Wildflower. I'm so glad you're here. Hi, Desiree, welcome to the show.
Desirée Adams:Hey, Shanna, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to chat with you today.
Shanna Skidmore:Okay, this is gonna be really fun. We have so much to talk about, but before we dig into life, before business, how this all got started, I do just want you to tell everybody who you are and what how you spend your time now in the business world,
Desirée Adams:yeah. So I am first and foremost, a wedding and event planner. So my company is called Verve event co My name is Desiree Adams, sorry, I forgot that. And I also have a podcast called The ask the planner podcast, where we focus on giving couples and planners and vendors advice on how to tactfully or TAC, yeah, more more focusing on the tactics of actually planning a wedding. And there's a lot of podcasts out there that talk about kind of like, more the drama or issues that couples kind of deal with, like socially, you know, but we really focus on the logistics of actually planning a wedding. I love getting into all of that so, so basically, I'm more of like a wedding planner, event wedding and event planner podcast host, and then also an educator, because I just love talking about all of the things behind the scenes, officially, I'm the CEO of the company, but I still do a lot of the wedding planning, and then obviously we have the podcast. So I'm still very in the weeds with everything, but trying to branch out and do less of that.
Shanna Skidmore:Okay, I love it. Oh, we're gonna have a good chat. You are currently New York based. How did you end up in New York? Because, as we talked about before we hit record, we're kind of from a very similar area. We are. You don't sound Southern, though,
Desirée Adams:well, so it's funny, because I everyone's always confused by me. So I was born in the Philippines. We moved to Michigan when I was four, and then so there's kind of like that northern influence. But then when we moved in, when I was eight, we moved to southwest Virginia, near you, in a little town called Abingdon, and I grew up there, and so, you know, I my friend said in my accent was kind of on the neutral side. And then I. To college. I actually met my husband at a leadership conference in DC when we were in high school. So then I kind of pseudo followed him to New York, where I went to school. So then we went back to the north. But then I spent after college, I was in Washington, DC, working in special events for almost 10 years. And DC is a very neutral area. I think it's like, more the vocabulary. So it's funny. But when I, you know, when I talk to people from home, like my accent will kind of come out, or, you know, different ways of pronouncing things, but so, yeah, so it's like, all it's from all over, really, that's
Shanna Skidmore:so funny. My husband's always like, are you talking to your grandma or your sister, because you're getting real southern here. I think it's cute.
Desirée Adams:It just reminds me of home. So I feel like it's like the nice it's like the good people, you know, is what it reminds me of.
Shanna Skidmore:I'm sure there was a a culture. Well, very different cultures, like Philippines to Michigan to southwest Virginia. Are you grateful for the very you know, the influence of those cultures now, I think that's just such a where was it kind of culture shock
Desirée Adams:I did. I feel like I was so naive that I didn't even notice it. I think it was more of a shock to go from Virginia, where I was to college, because I think my, my my childhood, I think was very innocent. You know, it was a small town, and the nearest gap was 45 minutes away in Johnson City. And, you know, we, we definitely like to go shopping, you know, like we would go on visits to my family in New Jersey, whatever, you know, we would love shopping, but it wasn't like as much of a for, you know, as a focus. So I feel like our relationship was, money was it's fun. We get to go out and do stuff, but it wasn't like so much of part of our we didn't talk about it so much, right? And then when I went to college, that was definitely more of, okay, there's brands, there's designers, everything, and it's not like I was a Helia country bumpkin, because we still try, like, my aunt lived in New York City, so we still, like, visited, and we got to see culture and metropolitan areas and, you know, like, we had nice meals and everything like that. But it wasn't like so much of a focus for us. And then I think when I was in college, and you see a lot more of the conspicuous spending, you're like, oh, there's it's different for other people, you know what I mean? So I feel like we have, I'm grateful for that, that I think it was a very innocent childhood, like we weren't super, you know, we were we were active. I was a dancer. I did cheerleading. But it wasn't like how, how I live my life now, with, like, youth sports and a job and a business, and it was definitely, yeah, different, and I'm thankful for that.
Shanna Skidmore:Yeah, no, I feel that. I mean, obviously I relate to that very much. There is a beauty in there's a beauty in that, in the in the simplicity of it. That's the right way to say it. And then also, I just love, you know, after college, after I got married my husband, I moved to Atlanta, and that was my, my first experience in a bigger, larger city. And I'm just so grateful for both to have had both of those experiences, and then to meld them into, you know, the pace that we live now, yeah, but I think our world is very consumer driven,
Desirée Adams:right? And I definitely fall trapped to that for sure, especially because I think with the business that I run, and it's very visually focused, and also, you know, having a presence on social media, I definitely feel like there's that's something that I have to consider how I present myself, the clients we're attracting, etc. So I definitely like that. I have a choice as to what I want to invest in, or how I want to present myself. Also,
Shanna Skidmore:it keeps you mindful. Okay, I love it. So back to DC. You got into event planning corporately. How did you transition? Like, at what point did you think I want to go into? Was it weddings? Was it events? Have your own company? Like, did you ever think you'd have your own company? You just kind of take me to those early days of business. Yeah,
Desirée Adams:it's so funny, because I, you know, I graduated from college. It was a liberal arts school, and it was, my major was sociology and anthropology, and I minored in writing, and then I thought it was going to be a journalist, so I went to DC, and I worked in PR for like, four months, and I didn't love it. The it was kind of like a mean girl situation. So I was like, okay, not doing this. What else can I do? And I realized I did a lot of event planning in college. I was president of our sorority, I was on our activities board, and I just always gravitated towards that. So I got a job, working in meetings and events, and then it was a giant con. Conference for 7000 people. And then from there, I transitioned to special events, working for, you know, consulting for a company with a company that planned galas, fundraisers, inaugural balls, etc. And that was more going towards what I liked. I love the organizational aspect, but I liked also being creative. And then it wasn't really until I had been there basically almost 10 years. We had our first child. She was born, and then my husband and I weren't ready for me to go back to me working, because childcare in DC is so expensive, and we're like, I'm gonna give up basically all my salary to have somebody else watch somebody much, you know, watch our daughter. Yeah, so I took a year off, and it was, it was very, it was very emotional, because I remember when I told I had just started a new job at a law firm, and I told them eventually that I was having a baby, and they're like, Oh, it's fine. Like, you can take maternity leave, et cetera. And I was like, No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come back, I promise. Like, now, you know, babies change things. It's totally fine. And then my husband actually brought it up, and he said, You know, I don't know if I'm ready for you to go back yet. And I said, Don't play with my emotions right now, because I'm very emotional. Yeah, if you're, if you're actually serious, then we should definitely talk about this. Because I thought, you know, I had to go back. And then we said, No, we're not ready. And then basically, a year after that, we moved to Rochester, where we are now, because he has, you know, this is where he's from, and it's nice to have family. And so basically, I was a full time mom for about two years, and we kid because I we had our second child, and we he was about seven or eight months old, because we'd always talked about me going back to work in some capacity. And when I kid and say, you know, I slept for six hours straight, and I was like, you know, I'm going to start my own business right now. I think it's time. I think let's do this, because you feel like you can do anything.
Shanna Skidmore:So I just leave and you can conquer the world exactly. And,
Desirée Adams:and it was different, because I thought, then, you know, in DC, you do a lot of freelance gig work, etc. And I was like, I'm just going to go, you know, hell. Help out other planners. And I don't think it was really set up for that in a smaller community. And so one of the vendors I talked to said, you know, I think you would be better served starting your own business as opposed to networking with other planners. But it's not like I can say, Oh, hey, I'm Desiree, I can, I can come work for you. And I was like, Oh, I guess it just means I'm starting my company now. So I, you know, spent a month picking out my name, figuring that out, and then, you know, posted on social media, it's all my earlier posts are still there because I want people to see that it wasn't always what it looks like now. So if you scroll way back to like, 2017 those early posts are still there. But yeah, so I did, you know, so we have the weddings and events, which are really still the focus of our business. And then I started the podcast in 2019 really it was more as it was an Alexa flash briefing, because I wanted to do something voice first, and Gary Vaynerchuk, because someone I kind of admire at the time, was everything is going to be voice first. So I did that, and then I didn't love it, because an Alexa flash briefing is just, like a very short, like a news clip, really. It's like a daily, like, here's like two minutes of, like, the day's news. And I did that, and it was really more focused on tips, but it wasn't. I didn't have a community. I didn't know who was listening. It was still very new in that, you know, that technology. And so then I switched to being more of a long form, traditional podcast the next year, and that's where we are now. And so it's going into its fifth season, which is crazy to think,
Shanna Skidmore:Oh no, it's we're almost about to hit our 100th episode. And I'm like, what? How did we get here, right? No, it's so crazy. So tell me, in those early days of business, did you just go straight for weddings? Did you how did you get started? Like, how did you network? What? How did you figure out your pricing? Just kind of what went well, what didn't go well in those early years. And as a side note, did you have like, a financial goal that you needed to hit, or was it more I need to use my creative brain for something that, like, kind of, yeah,
Desirée Adams:no, it's, that's. That's a really great question. So the early days, I did go for weddings, because I very much felt no one's gonna hire me to do special events as an external planner up here, it's a much smaller community. I don't think people, like, knew that much about, you know, hiring a, you know, a consultant like what I was so I went into weddings, and I thought that was gonna be a lot easier looking back, you know, I think, like, two years later, I did this. It's called Finding Your why exercise, if you guys haven't heard of it. And I basically did it with my friend, which is, like, kind of trying to figure out, have you heard of it? Simon Sinek wrote the book finding your why. Okay, no,
Shanna Skidmore:oh, I mean, I love Simon. I don't love something. Obviously, I don't know him. I have not read. Did, but I've heard a lot of clips from him, and I feel like he's very smart, and I've heard a lot of people talk about but I'm pretty sure I own the book. That's right.
Desirée Adams:So it's so good, because it really kind of helped me focus on why you do what you do, but also what your values are and what you value as a person. And then, you know, she and I were, like, basically, almost in tears, because it really helped me realize the reason why I like doing weddings and special events, really the weddings is because it's a time to be with your family, and it's a really special moment in time, and to make it special, and have to have you be present, like that's what we do as planners, is to really create this amazing experience that you get to celebrate with your most treasured people, but making it special. But then also we get to let you actually enjoy it and be present with with your people. And that's, for me, the biggest part is because I think a lot of people spend a lot of time worrying because they don't know what to do, etc. And so anyways, I love that we went into weddings and that I didn't, that I focused on weddings. That's the long story. And my friend said, you know, after I'd started my business, I always knew you're going to be an entrepreneur. And I said I didn't. I never would have thought that, like if you had told 10 year old Desiree you're going to be owning your own business, she would have been like, someone else has to be responsible for that. And I wouldn't have believed you. But looking back, you know, I, like I mentioned, I was, like, president of my sorority, I was salutatorian in my high school, like I was always an achiever. And I also like to be in charge, shocker, because I'm a planner and so and I like to be able to do things the way I want to do it. So at first, I think starting a business was a means to an end, which is like, I don't want to I want to be able to have the flexibility and to be able to contribute to my family. But now it's really more of like, I understand why I do what I do, and so it just fuels me even more that I'm that I have a purpose, and I'm helping these couples and their families really enjoy and spend time with their guests in a really special situation. But as far as, like, go ahead, it's
Shanna Skidmore:interesting. Desiree that you said, I think people start a business, it's interesting. You know, either they have a need, like a financial need, and they need to make money and they don't want to go back to corporate, so, you know, that's a motivator, or it's like I have this skill and this craft, and I want to use my brain in a different way, or creativity. And I always feel like both have to come into play at some point. Like, if you, in the beginning, start a business for the freedom, the flexibility and to support your family, at some point, you have to find your why, right, or, you know, like, and it's, it's the same in, in the flip side, like, if you start with, I'm so passionate about this, or this is my craft, I feel like at some point you have to have a financial goal is that. And so I feel like, in this season of my business, I'm back to like, Okay, what is the why? What is the impact? I want to make the purpose. Like, that's where I feel, and I feel like it switches in different seasons of business. So it's interesting. You said that that's such a side note. But I just loved hearing you talk about, like, in the beginning it was this, and then I just love that it started that way. Yeah, no, I became our why?
Desirée Adams:It's, it's crazy. Well, it's, it's sad, because I didn't have a financial goal. I was really more like, I want to contribute. And like, I know what I could be making as a planner working for somebody else, you know, like, it would probably be like, high 7080, or something over 100 probably. So, you know, I think in my head I was like, I would love to replace that, but I knew in the beginning I wasn't going to be making that and then, obviously, like, as a as an entrepreneur, well as a not natural entrepreneur, I wasn't thinking expenses and profit, and then you have to pay yourself and all that stuff. So I didn't have a financial plan in the beginning. It was more just like, I just need to bring in some money, and then I'll figure it out, and it will come and then, you know, it wasn't really until a couple years later, when I had a business coach, and I was actually looking at my expense to profit ratio, and like looking at it, and I was like, this is not sustainable. I need to look at the numbers more, and I really need to focus so that I do feel good taking home money, like taking home pay, because it's not a hobby, it's an actual business, and I didn't want to treat it as like an expensive hobby, like I wanted to be like a formal business.
Shanna Skidmore:Yeah, you wanted to take money from it, and as you should, wedding planners. What top five most stressful job? How did you figure out like in the beginning, pricing, getting clients. Did it grow well, and then I love how you just talked about the shift after a couple years talking to a business coach. How did it change? Did you sit down and, like, redo your pricing? Did you accept minimums? Like, kind of just walk me through? Yeah, that. Transition of like in the beginning, I was just doing it for some extra cash, and now, no, I want to make this profitable, right? I
Desirée Adams:feel like I did what every new planner and a lot of new business owners do, is just look next to you and see what other people are doing and try to figure out what they're pricing and charge similarly, which is not smart. Don't do that, because you have no idea what people's profits are if they're paying themselves, if their debt situation. So don't do that. But I, you know, I had one coach that was, like, really focused on profit and, you know, figuring out. Basically, I think she had, like, a formula that was like, you know, if you spend this much time, etc, you should be making X amount of money. Basically, what happened to me was I had a wedding, and I was I put it was one of my first weddings, actually. So what I did when I first started my business is I messaged all of my past clients and relationships from my previous life and said, Hey, I'm starting a business. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out. And I had always done this whenever I changed jobs, I always send an update email to my contacts just to say, Hey, this is what I'm doing now. If you ever want or need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out, because I always felt like I don't want to have to go back to somebody if I need something from them and they haven't heard me in five years, from me in five years. So one of my first clients actually was a client from DC. She was getting married in Pennsylvania. She wanted to have a wedding Festival, and she needed a wedding planner, and she knew I was in the area, and she was like, I loved working with you when we worked together in DC. Will you plan my wedding? And I said, Yes. I was so excited. She wanted to plan and a wedding festival. And she said, Desiree, everything is dirt cheap here where the wedding is going to be, our budget is $30,000 and I was like, great. And then it ballooned to $110,000 because we brought in people from bands from, you know, Tennessee or Texas or whatever, and we brought in a catering all these things. And at that time, you know, I had based my pricing on, like, how many hours I thought it was going to take me to plan a wedding, yeah, or wedding of her scale. Obviously it was inaccurate, because the scope changed so much, which is very normal for a wedding, because a lot of people just don't know, one, how much things cost, exactly two, what they're going to actually want, like, it's a year from now, and you don't know all of your options. And so after then I was like, I can't do it based on this guessing model. And I'd found another planner who said she charged a percentage, basically, of what their budgets are, and she had a formula. I was basically like, this is, like, my, like, get up out of the, you know, get up from bed fee. And then this is, like, a percentage that I charged in addition to that, etc. And then he's like a labor fees, which he did, but basically, now we just charge a percentage on couples entire budget, because we're managing everything for them and and it's so much better because I always have, you know, in our budgets for our couple, we always have, at the bottom here is everything for the wedding, and based on this here is our fee, and they have the freedom to change and move things around. And we always, you know, if that's not a priority for you, we'll move the money elsewhere, etc. Because I really, you know, starting, having started planning events in nonprofits, we were always focused on the budget, because everything you didn't spend, you gave back to the mission. So I was always still, and I also was able to be like, you know, people will notice if you don't do this, but people won't notice if you don't do this, etc. So I can always, you know, help my clients and make those decisions of how to spend their money, so that they feel good at the end of the day, of what their investment is. But they're not like, holy crap, we How did we just spend, you know, all this money?
Shanna Skidmore:What do you feel like Desiree went has gone well in your business, whether it's marketing, vendor relationships, client relationships, like, how, especially in in now, in 2024, and in a very saturated, I'm sure, a very saturated industry, as we all are filling in small business like, what has allowed you to keep growing? And, yeah, just what do you feel like has gone well, and then maybe, like, one or two of the hiccups you learned along the way? Yeah,
Desirée Adams:I think, like, as far as hiccups, like I said, I wasn't taking track of my money at, you know, as I should have been. So in the first couple of years, our expenses to profit ratio were not great. Like I was, like, 43% of expenses were, you know, of our profit, and then it was up to like, 61% we were spending. And so I think in like, year five, your year six, I read the book profit first, and then I cut my expenses to 31% of our profit, which I was super, super proud about. But, like, no one cares about that, because they don't see that. But I was super proud of it. I also think
Shanna Skidmore:could be, that's what I say, 30% Thank you. Anyone listening. It's a
Desirée Adams:little bit higher now, but, you know, the company's a little bit different now. But I also think, I think, really working with our vendors, we're super, you know, we really want to for. Also run an advocate for our clients, especially, but I also tell them that the reason why you hire a planner is because of our relationships with our vendors. I client is first, I'm an advocate for you, but I really take care of my vendors. I give them what they need. I give them the information that they need. You know, well, being where we are. We have to do a lot of, I think we have to do a lot more of the something like the physical labor that some other planners don't necessarily have to do. So like, we'll move in the furniture at the end of the night, and it's my team, and I doing that because I want to make sure that you know that I'm taking care of your pieces, or will you know, so different things like that. I really, you know, I've heard from other vendors that they really appreciate that, because they know that I feel like we're one team on the day of the wedding. Yes, we're all there for the clients. But these are the people that I'm going to be working with multiple times, and they're going to be the people that are going to be referring us. They're also going to be the people that I'm going to need to rely on if I need something. So, you know, I want, I don't want to again. I don't want to go back to them and be like, hey, I need a favor. Oh, by the way, your couches got rained on, but I was too busy doing something else. So sorry about that. You know what I mean, yeah, and I think that's really, really helped our business. But then also, you know, we only can work with six or 810, clients a year, and I feel like our clients, can feel that they know that, you know, we have a very strong relationship with them. We are an advocate for them, and they really feel like we have their back whatever the situation is going to be. So that one then they can really release the control and the power on the wedding day to us and just be present. But then they also feel like they have someone that they can look to, and then they can turn to if there's a situation with somebody in the winning party, if there's, you know, drama going on, you know, we're discreet. We're not going to share that stuff, because we really do care about each client individually, and we're able to do that because we only have so many clients at a time. Yeah, would
Shanna Skidmore:you say looking back Desiree that you've seen any major like shifts or pivots in the company as it has grown,
Desirée Adams:I think definitely getting outside help. So hiring a business coach is super helpful, I think, because she holds me accountable, but then also makes me, forces me, or reminds me to think of the business side of the business, and not the client side of actually servicing our clients. So that's super helpful, I think, also growing a team, which can be hard, but, you know, the years where I've hired somebody, outsourced things had bas like, we've been been able to grow financially, because it's not me doing everything. And I think, really, I think that shift of seeing myself as a business owner, as the CEO, and not just as a wedding planner or an event planner or as a podcast really, like I am the CEO managing a company that has really been, I think, a shift that has been for the better for our company, and then now I just keep trying to look forward and thinking about what the legacy that we want to leave as a company for the future too.
Shanna Skidmore:Oh, I love that. That's such a good question to ask. I love that so much. And would you say that's part of your motivation for starting the podcast, which is like what you learned and getting started and wanting to help others with these same questions. Yeah,
Desirée Adams:I think there's different reasons. One was, you know, I want to do I just like doing things differently. I always am like, why not like, why not start a business? Why not start a podcast? I can do that. I can figure it out. So I was always one that would just naively be like, I can figure that out. But yeah, I think my again, my friend that you know, that I talked about in the beginning, she always, I was the older one, and she said You always were the one that was always telling us, well, this is why you do what you do. Or did you know that X, Y and Z? And I just liked teaching people. I when I when I worked in consulting, and we had the new associates, I liked taking the time to show them how to do things and why we do things the way we do. And I think that's the same with the podcast. It's just a different audience and it's a bigger reach, but again, it's we get to serve more people with a podcast and and then I can share all of the advice with anybody that will listen to me, because I feel strongly about this or that and why we do things the way we do. And you can disagree with me, or you can be like this, girl knows what she's talking about, because she's done it a million times. You know what I mean? Yeah,
Shanna Skidmore:I love it. Okay? Desiree and all of this growth and starting the podcast and and going from corporate planning to working for yourself. What would you say? Or just your background. I love your background is the best thing that you have learned about money. Debt
Desirée Adams:isn't worth it. If you can't afford to pay for it in cash, then you don't need it. You know, I feel like I'm very lucky because my husband is very. Long term focus with our financial goals. And, you know, we've talked about the things that we would love to do, and I feel like, as a business owner, I feel more empowered to be able to dream big. And so one of those things is, you know, we would love to be able to retire, etc, but that means you have to make sacrifices in the beginning. Compound interest is big, and so the more you save now, the better you are off long term and really just not going into debt for things. And being able to pay for things in cash is super, super important. But then going along with this is that I think I also care less about the conspicuous spending. I think there's I have to balance, you know, how I present myself with, you know, social media, etc, but then I also, and I also, I love purses, and I love bags, and I love like looking cute, and I love fancy outfits. But I also feel like I if I am having to pull back, I know it's because we have these long term goals that we've set for ourselves, and I don't need to prove myself to others, why I make the decisions that I do? And I think that's a maturity thing. Like, I think definitely in your 20s and 30s, you care a lot more about how people perceive you, et cetera. But I think now I don't so much. And so I feel like I have that freedom to decide how I want to spend my money, and I don't have to answer to anybody else.
Shanna Skidmore:Yeah, I think it's really powerful, like what you said about setting your sights on a goal, especially financially, or even time. Freedom costs money. Time costs like having a house cleaner versus not having child care versus not like that takes money. It's time is the what you're getting. But I always I have three different programs that I teach three different courses, a business finance one and a goal setting one, and then a personal finance one, and all three of them start with vision casting for that exact reason, because we cannot make sacrifices today willingly, unless we have the bigger picture going forward. And so I love how you and I kind of skipped over this, but I'd like to circle back to you know you had mentioned maybe money wasn't always or numbers weren't always your favorite thing. Would you kind of just describe how your relationship with money or numbers has changed before having your business, versus now, after years of being in business, oh,
Desirée Adams:it has changed so much. I feel like before, you know, definitely starting my business, I hated numbers. I hated math. I wasn't it was. I was definitely much more of a word person, and so I knew it was important to track my expenses and to track my, you know, our profit and our revenue, but that's basically all I did. And then now, as a business owner, in knowing the legacy that I want to build for the company and leave to our children. It's so much more important, because I feel like the numbers indicate the health of your business, and it's, it's still not something that I feel like. Other things I always feel like are more important, like, I have to send this invoice, or I have to, you know, those are the the time sensitive things to me, in my mind. But then I also, like, every month I need to check our statements, I need to do our accounting, and it's something and then when I do it, I'm like, I feel so good. I'm so proud. But this is, this is so great, but I but it's always something that I always keep pushing. But I definitely feel like now, as the business owner, it's so much more important to me. And it's, it's, it's something that I do enjoy because or something that I know I need to set aside time for, because, again, like I said, it just indicates the health of your business, or where we need to spend more money on, or where we need to spend less money on. Or, you know, what is working and what is not, is it giving us the return on the investment that we want? Yeah,
Shanna Skidmore:I totally thought numbers. I mean, obviously everybody's like dash Hannah, he was numbers earned. It's so empowering, though I feel I find a lot of peace in knowing our numbers and when, like you said, when we need to push harder or scale back, or that you're putting your money in places that reflect your values and the legacy you want to leave. I love how you've said that Desiree before we go into a quick fire round. I would love to just hear you know you started your business when you had tiny people at home in a world that asked us to do everything well, and you're growing a business with how have you found harmony in your life, in your work and going after ambitious goals, wanting to bring in money for a family, but also like you have little people at home. So just kind of walk me through how you've how you found that harmony in work and life. I
Desirée Adams:to me balance and harmony shift. Depending on what my needs are at the moment and what the business's needs are, and then what the family's needs are. And this can change for me on a daily basis. Some days my business needs me more. Some days my body is telling me, you need to slow down. You've been staying up too long. Or some days, you know, my family, my kids, need me, and I'm going to have to take this afternoon off. I think, I think that's the beauty of being an entrepreneur, is I get to choose where my focus is needed the most. Personally, I love working out. It's my me time. I try to go two or three times a week, but sometimes I can only go once, or sometimes I can't go at all, but I know that that's a season that's not always going to be permanent. Nothing is forever, both for my business or for my family, and things are going to change, like the kids are going to get bigger and bigger, and they're going to need me less, and there is going to be different. So I also feel like, while it's it can be a struggle, and we're all so busy and everything is so hard, whatever I it's, I I'm lucky that I get to that I have the ability to be there for my kids. It was funny because I was like, short story, I was dropping the kids off at Camp one morning this summer, and my son was like, why would you need aftercare, and why would you need morning care? Like, why would you come to camp so early? And then my daughter goes, Well, it's because some kids aren't as lucky to have a parent that stays home and gets to work, sweetheart, she said his name, and she was like, and, but Mommy gets to work from home so she can have the flexibility to be with us. And I feel like she probably has heard me say that a couple of times, because, you know, it's like, Mommy, why are you working? Why are you doing this? And sometimes, you know, I have to do that in front of them, but sometimes I don't, and I feel like it's just knowing what your boundaries are, knowing what you need, and then knowing that nothing is forever is really, really important.
Shanna Skidmore:Yeah, that's what I'm finding in this season of life, just being really clear on, you know what, how you want to show up at work, how you want to show up, and I love I feel like I've been asking these bigger questions, or need to ask these bigger questions that you've mentioned, and several, actually other interviews I've had today I've mentioned, so maybe this is a sign, just like, about legacy and about your why, and about long term, like we can get so busy. I know I can running the day today, are getting because if we have a lot to do in a short amount of time, getting the I liked how you said it like the time sensitive that the urgent things done, but we also need to have that time for those big questions, or working on your business or thinking about things that Desiree. This has all been so good. Let's go into a quick fire around perfect. One thing you would be embarrassed if people knew
Desirée Adams:personally, my desk is really cluttered. It becomes like my office is cluttered. It becomes the repository for all things in the house. And I feel like on the outside, everything looks like perfect and amazing, but it's like the cobblers kids don't have shoes. It's everything else inside is not what it should be, because everything else is fine,
Shanna Skidmore:yeah, everything else is organized. This is the Monica closet, you know, like everything, stuff, any regrets or wish you could do over moments,
Desirée Adams:not really. You know, I really feel like things happen for a reason we might just not know it yet. And I feel like even when I don't get a client or what have you, I just always tell myself, it's just leaving you an opportunity that you don't know is coming your way. So No,
Shanna Skidmore:love it big win or pinch me moment. I
Desirée Adams:think having Rachel Cruz on the podcast was really kind of big for us, because she was one of our first, like, actual, I mean, we have wedding industry people that are really, really big come on this show, but I think she was the one of the first mainstream people. And it was amazing for me that she I reached out, and then they said yes, and then she came on. So that was crazy. And then I think also, like recently, I was on a TV news segment with Hena doba from news nation, and the request came in two days before, can you come on TV? And it was, I haven't done live TV, and that was kind of crazy, just because my mom and my sister could watch on TV, and it was kind of cool. So, so yeah, that's
Shanna Skidmore:a fun okay, tell me about the Rachel Cruze. Did you want her on the show? What were you you're just like, I'm just gonna reach out and see what happens. Yeah,
Desirée Adams:it's crazy. Because, again, I'm like, why not? I'm gonna reach out if they say they don't, if they don't say anything, there's nothing bad can happen from this. So, yeah, I just reached out. I filled out a form. She was a, you know, a Ramsey personality. I listened to money happy hour, and so I invited both. But I was like, I can just do one, if only one's available. And literally, I think, like within three days, her scheduler said, you know, we would love for her to come on. I wanted to talk. About Money and Finance because, honestly, because couples need to talk about money and finances before they get married, and I think people don't do that. And so I pitched the different angles that I had, and she was like, you know, Rachel's coming out with a book in the next couple of months. We would love for her to be able to come and talk on the show, and then also, like, talk about her book later at the end. And she was available, and I said yes, and I couldn't believe that it was so easy,
Shanna Skidmore:like that. And then the TV do you feel like they how do you feel like they found you Google or
Desirée Adams:SEO? I or I think it was probably the podcast. We try to spend a lot of time on Google and SEO and so, you know, all of our podcasts are blogs, there's the show notes, and I think that's, I feel like that's what they said. It was just like on the internet. I don't think it was LinkedIn. I think it was actually the internet, and it was, it was weird because it was a TV news segment about wedding costs. And I'm not, we're not. It's interesting because, like, our wedding planning is we're not focused on budget. Weddings, per se, they're definitely more high end and expensive. But on the podcast, we still talk about the numbers, because whether your budget is 10k or 150k or 1000 you know, like 1,000,000k you still need to know where your money is going, and so it's just a reflection, again, of your priorities. And there was talking about expenses, and probably it was one of the podcasts that I talked about money and budgeting for a wedding. I love
Shanna Skidmore:it, you know, that's so interesting. You said that for weddings, you know, whether your budget is 10,000 or 100,000 or a million, the percentages are probably similar. And where to, you know, all naming your priorities. And I get asked a lot. You know, I don't teach anything that's industry specific. I really don't teach very much that's even location specific. Every once in all talk about taxes with my students. I'll talk about taxes. Of course, I answer those questions, which is location specific. But like every industry, no matter what you sell, what you do, what you offer, profit margins are similar. Like, there's there's industry, there's benchmarks that have nothing to do with your industry or where you live. And so I think that's so interesting that you brought that up about the weddings as well. Like, you're not just speaking to luxury weddings, because this can apply no matter. So good, okay, tell me best advice, or just really good advice that you have received.
Desirée Adams:You can't pour from an empty cup. And I don't know where I read that. It wasn't me. I didn't come up with it. But I feel like sometimes we as women, a lot, entrepreneurs, a lot, we try to beat ourselves up, or we, you know, push ourselves a lot, but and we forget about taking care of ourselves. And so I try to a lot of times. I tell people that because I feel like I'm trying to do better about that, but I think you can't pour from from an empty cup, because if you don't take care of yourself, how are you going to be able to take care of anybody
Shanna Skidmore:else? Yeah, yeah, I love that. Okay, last quick fire. What are you working on now? Or one resource that you would like to share?
Desirée Adams:So we, I do mentoring and coaching for wedding planners, which I don't know is if it's relative relevant to any of your listeners, but we do that. But I have a freebie on how to start a podcast, because I really feel like people, you know, it really helps shift our mentality of, you know, the people that we serve in the community, in the audience. So if people are thinking about that, we have a freebie on how to start a podcast, and I'll send you the links.
Shanna Skidmore:Okay? We will include that in the show notes. Thanks, Desiree, let's send it off. What would you tell yourself, I think, looking back and not going back to work. Having that conversation with your husband after having your first kiddo, probably a fearful moment of fear, like, what about my career? You know, I'm sure there was a lot of different thoughts. What would you tell yourself now, looking back to that day,
Desirée Adams:you don't have any idea what you can achieve and the gifts that you can give to the world, so don't limit yourself. I think that's what I would tell
Shanna Skidmore:her, I love it. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for sharing your story. Your work, of course, is beautiful, and I'm just so excited to know you and keep in touch. Yes,
Desirée Adams:Shanna, thank you so much. This was so wonderful. I really love this conversation, so I really, really appreciate you having me on the show.
Shanna Skidmore:Hey, Wildflower. You just finished another episode of consider the wildflowers the podcast. Head over to consider the wildflowers podcast.com. For show notes, resource links and to learn how you can connect with Desiree. One final thought for today, from Betsy Jacobson, balance is not better time management, but better boundary management as always. Thank you for listening. I'll see you next time. Consider the wildflowers. Podcast is produced and edited in partnership with the team at Palm Tree podco. Special thanks to our producers, Anthony Palmer, our audio mixologist of palm tree podco, and Lauren from Team Skidmore, without whom this podcast would never reach your earbuds each week.
